Authored by: biofilo on Tuesday, July 07 2009 @ 12:59 PM CDT

1. Dunno what you're getting at with the "your" here, as no one has come forward to identify as the author on this board.

2. It's pathetic and embarrassing that in 2009 there are still (presumably male?) anarchists who freak out about discussions of consent and believing the survivor. Please have some conversations with people who have done support work around sexual assault issues for some time.

3. Perhaps I'm guilty of this too, after being so provoked by your comments, but when you write in such an insulting tone, no undecided reader is going to take you seriously. Are you trying to offer constructive criticism? Would you say "don't write anything about relationships ever again" to someone's face? It's too bad we can't talk about this in person--I bet it would go differently.

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Authored by: ScavengerType on Tuesday, July 07 2009 @ 11:02 PM CDT

I'll address these backwards.

3: Yes but to be fair I am much funnier and non-offensive in person (usually on infoshop I try to be serious) and also that was a long uninteresting story, I actually feel it was more a waste of my time when I discovered my fundamental misconception about the article. Because, then it's not even remotely controversial or interesting in any way, it's mundane and yet someone chose to write a fucking article about it.

2: I've heard more women lie about rape than I have tell the truth. I do not mean to attack or belittle women who post about it or write about it on the internet, in fact evidence tells me it's the most common way to admit it. I don't understand, nobody in this article as I understand it now is either a survivor or a perpetrator (another thing that sucks about the article, totally false title).

1: I presumed you were the OP. I apologies to you and the OP. I completely misunderstood a fundamental detail about the material facts of the article (I cannot stress this enough I had it totally wrong on a crucial detail). Frankly I'm sorry if my comments bothered anyone, but to be fair I think the language used in the article rambling about the events, with the length, as with some of the posts caused me to forget exactly what transpired. Perhaps even confused it with my own jaded memories of someone that the author reminded me of. Sorry, my bad.

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Authored by: talia on Thursday, July 09 2009 @ 02:42 AM CDT

It may be that women don't feel comfortable talking about rape to you. I cannot imagine why that could possibly be.

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Authored by: ScavengerType on Sunday, July 12 2009 @ 12:13 AM CDT

Well, funny enough a lot of people actually do come and talk to me about it. I try to be an upbeat and all around not unpleasant type of guy when it comes to peoples who are victims of sexual abuse/assault, of which I never addressed anyone here who was to my knowledge.

So, an unorthodox amount of people decide that they need to talk to me about their abuse or sexual assault experience. I am glad I don't live in a big town or else I couldn't imagine the amount of people who would do this. I have no expertise in abuse cases or study of how people deal with abuse, the only psychology I've ever studied was general and behavioral, I don't talk to people who do deal with these sorts of things and when I do we often don't get along, but still people come to me of all people as a trusted person to talk to about these sorts of things. I just plain don't know what to tell these people and would rather they don't talk to me about it (in person, I'm totally fine with anyone who wants to talk about it online because then I'm not forced to respond). The only way to avoid this is to avoid people, not just at home or in public though but at work as well.

Maybe one time someone can write an article about that. There must be thousands of anarchist social workers and their lot out there.

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Authored by: Fisher on Sunday, July 12 2009 @ 08:57 PM CDT

"So, an unorthodox amount of people decide that they need to talk to me about their abuse or sexual assault experience. I am glad I don't live in a big town or else I couldn't imagine the amount of people who would do this. I have no expertise in abuse cases or study of how people deal with abuse, the only psychology I've ever studied was general and behavioral, "

It can be intimidating to go there but it gets easier when you take the steps to educate yourself. I have no formal schooling around this stuff but I have read a lot and talked to a lot of people about this stuff and done a lot of work at developing my listening skills and I think it's made all parts of my life better to have done that. Not to mention, I know what to do if a lover all of a sudden has a flashback or something. I'd hate to be in that situation and not know what to do.

"I don't talk to people who do deal with these sorts of things and when I do we often don't get along"

And that doesn't ring alarm bells for you? Or make you reconsider your attitudes? You've made a whole lot of outrageous comments to this article in which you seem to tear down every attempt to communicate about sexual violence and survivor issues and it seems that you are unable to communicate with those who routinely deal with these issues and further that you don't know how to talk about the issues with the people who confide in you. You could learn how to talk about the issues if you'd get over yourself and start listening to what people have to say and reading the ENORMOUS amount of material that anti-authoritarians have written about sexual violence and consent. In the infoshop where I'm typing this right now, there's literally dozens of well written zines and books on this topic. Material of this nature is pretty easy to access online in many places (zinelibrary.net, anarcha.org, mencanstoprape.org, etc.), anarchist and otherwise. Plus, you can take trainings and workshops all over the place at anarchist conferences or maybe even through your local rape crisis center (like in my town).

"but still people come to me of all people as a trusted person to talk to about these sorts of things. I just plain don't know what to tell these people and would rather they don't talk to me about it (in person, I'm totally fine with anyone who wants to talk about it online because then I'm not forced to respond). The only way to avoid this is to avoid people, not just at home or in public though but at work as well."

Damn dude! It's fucking great that they're talking to anyone! Many people don't do that and often don't get to heal as a consequence. If people are coming to you with this than take a clue and learn how to be the most effective and supportive person you can in these situations! Do you need a big flashing sign to tell you your next area to develop as an anarchist?! In a country where 1 out of 4 women is raped at some point in her life and 1 out of 3 has been sexually abused as a child and about 100% have experienced sexual harassment, how do you think we're going to bring about anarchy without dealing with this stuff? We won't be able to unless we can deal with the most difficult shit. If these people are trusting you enough to confide in you then you probably have a lot of latent talent to handle things like this. I hope you choose to be brave enough to develop it.

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