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Sunday, December 21 2014 @ 12:14 AM CST

Sex after 80: Living longer is getting sweeter

News ArchiveI am what most people would term elderly. I am neither inexperienced nor stupid – and I write as a woman not a man – and I am financially independent. I enjoy sex and what goes with it, sexual relations. As an “older woman,” I’ll try to tell you what I like to get and give. Sex after 80: Living longer is getting sweeter

The Indypendent
nyc.indymedia.org

I want lots of touching, petting, kissing, stroking, licking ears, fingertips, nipples...

By AMANDA DAVIS

I am what most people would term elderly. I am neither inexperienced nor stupid – and I write as a woman not a man – and I am financially independent. I enjoy sex and what goes with it, sexual relations. As an “older woman,” I’ll try to tell you what I like to get and give.

I want lots of touching – old-fashioned petting, kissing, stroking, licking ears, finger tips, nipples – just plain skin to skin. I don’t care if the partner is young or old, handsome or not, big or small in stature or endowment. I have experimented with sex with a woman and decided it was not for me.

So – sex after 70, or even after 80. Best if you have other things that you enjoy together – word games, shared laughter (especially if you can laugh at yourself). Time together to find the things that bind you. Comfort – as you grow older the joints don’t work as well and you can’t expect sex in the backseat of a car to be fun. But make it fun – there are ways to do it.

Appreciate all of the senses. Sight: Don’t be afraid to look at him and let him look at you. You might not be what you were at 70, 60, 50 or younger. He might not be as ugly, or you as unattractive, as you think. Smell: We all send off sexually attractive smells – young and old.

Taste: Use your tongue on all parts of him and encourage him to do the same. Sound: Maybe you don’t sing (I do), but read poetry together or listen to music. Try making love to a Beethoven sonata, using the rhythms and sounds for fun.

Many things still make me want to take a lover. At 81, I am still in love with sex and with giving and receiving love. When I was young, I was not able to attract males (I was too smart and unable to conceal it). I had my first boyfriend and first sexual experience at about 17.

Later, I learned that I was sexy and how to use it. I didn’t really have a lot of sex but I was wanted (maybe even wanton) and I enjoyed the power my sexuality gave me.

What I seek now is someone who can laugh (at himself and help me laugh at myself), who is sensual in all ways (if only just a little bit in some), who loves music, who is politically liberal (this is important for me), who needs me and understands my needing him. All of this has to come together with an ability to express caring, not just physically, but a little bit verbally.

I would like this person to understand my aches and pains (and I expect to understand his) and to know that love is the first prerequisite for a relationship that includes sex. Granted, you can have sex without love or caring but it won’t be anything more satisfactory than emptying your bladder or a good shit.

Over the years, my feelings about sex have changed because I found it pleasurable and didn’t have to be afraid of becoming pregnant (thanks to an operation after bearing five children) and my mind overcame the prejudices of what women should feel and do.

I think one can find good sex without “love” but it will be fleeting. For it to be good over a span of time, there must be more than just orgasms. I just spent ten days with a person I met purely by accident – wrong number from
opposite ends of the country.

I went to meet him and had a quiet relationship with a man I had only spoken to on the phone. We had very good sex but a wonderful part of it was
holding hands watching an old movie, going to bed, holding one another, talking, learning one another’s past. I read the books he had in the house and found things I should have read sooner. I hope when he visits me there
will be things in my books and movies and music collection he learns from.

I don’t think this will be the love affair of the millennium or even the century, but after 14 months of mourning for my beloved partner and trying to satisfy my sexual longings by masturbation and other means, I am willing to have a friendship (with sex) that is not all year long, a love affair that recognizes the (physical) distance between.

He is quite a bit younger than I (16 years) but I’m in good physical shape (better than he) and we like each other! I cannot say anything about sex for a man over 70 but for a woman who would like to be alive for as long as she is alive – do it!!!!
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Sex after 80: Living longer is getting sweeter | 1 comments | Create New Account
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Get your Harold and Maude on!
Authored by: Anonymous on Saturday, February 11 2006 @ 02:58 PM CST